Truth or Dare is a well-known game that you can play with two or more people. One way to play it is that when it’s your turn, you either choose “Truth” or “Dare”. If you choose Truth you have to answer the question asked to you truthfully, if you choose Dare, you have to do the assignment given to you. As you can imagine, this can quickly evolve into something steamy, and it is actually a really nice way to heat things up step-by-step.
Why Play Truth Or Dare?
You obviously do not want to do anything that you really do not want to do, but you might want to experiment. You want a safe space to do that, but what is that? What is a safe space? It’s not so easy to determine when you can just let go and it feels okay. So it would be nice if you have a kind of way, a kind of setting which helps you to do things step-by-step. There are different types of people with who you can play this, and there are pros and there are cons. This article addresses them one by one.
Submission and Games
According to the Oxford Dictionary submission is: “The action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.” A lot of people see this as a negative thing. However, if you do this in the form of role-playing, this can be very fulfilling, which in its turn can be very erotic. Also, you can try things out without really having to stand by them. If you chose to do something, and you chose it all by yourself, it can be very vulnerable. Maybe the other person starts to laugh, or it just doesn’t work. If you do things in a role-play, in the sense that you have to do assignments, you can always say: “I had to do that because of the game.”
And this can also work this way for yourself. You can try things, and then decide if it was okay for you or not. And to do that in a more lighthearted way, making it playful by playing a game, adds to the creation of a safe space. You just don’t take things that seriously and taboos are broken more easily. You have a set of rules, and everything goes. As long as there is an easy way for somebody to say “No”, it can be very freeing.
And it is also just nice to do something for somebody else. It shows you make an effort, and makes the other person feel special. Because you’re doing something specifically for that person. For the ones who would like to see how this works in practice, the movie Secretary(2002) shows this perfectly.
Truth or Dare with Your Partner
Playing Truth or Dare with your partner can greatly spice up your sex life, and is a great way to get to know each other (and yourself) in the bedroom. This goes for both the Truth part and the Dare part of the game.
The best thing about the Truth part of the game is that you make sexual conversation easier. For instance, you are able to learn about your partner’s sexual preferences, without having to start the conversation at a kitchen table. Simple questions like “Do you prefer to be on top, or underneath?” can already be an eye-opener. Or it might lead to other subjects while having the conversation, in the sense that the question can be a good conversation starter. When you know more about each other’s sexual preferences, your sex life will improve.
Not only because you know the other person’s wishes or needs, but also because you feel more comfortable knowing that the other person knows your preferences. And it can lead to more general relaxation while having sex. This especially goes for things you specifically do not want to do, or do not like that much. So if a question comes up during the game, about something you dislike but still is happening in the bedroom, you can mention this. It is a lot easier to say this in the context of the game, rather than in the heat of the moment.
Tricky Truth Questions
There is also a type of question in the Truth game you might want to avoid with your partner. These are the “Have you ever..?” questions. If you want to ask these questions, you really should know what you’re doing. Because you might not get an answer that you like. A lot of people don’t want to hear what their partner has or hasn’t done with their ex-partners, how many ex-partners there were, or the kind of things that their partner did. Some things are just better to leave in the past, but if you feel very confident, go for it.
Daring your Partner
In the Dare part things can get really spicy. It can be a great combination of submission, exploring new things and being playful. Doing assignments for each other is already quite intimate, no matter what the assignment is. You are already sharing something very personal. When the assignments become more and more sexual and more advanced, it becomes even more intimate and can become extremely arousing. You could see other sides of your partner, which you might not have discovered otherwise. By doing an assignment, something that you have to do because of the game, you also learn more things about yourself. It could open whole new chapters in your sex life with your partner.
Truth or Dare with a Date
If you’re on a date, playing a game can be a good way to break the ice. And if you’re lucky it can lead to a crazy great adventure. However, if you have a date with someone you haven’t met before it can be a good idea to prepare a little bit.
Meeting in a Public Space
If you meet in a public space, let’s say in a bar or a restaurant, and you are playing a rather innocent Truth or Dare game, there’s not much that can go wrong. You can both check if you are a match, in a fun way. And if one of you isn’t really interested in the other one, you can always express this. You are able to finish the night as friends, or leave a bit early when you feel like it.
Meeting at a Private Place
If you meet at a private place, at your home, at his or her home or at a hotel for instance it can become a bit tricky. Especially if your run-up to the date was quite steamy, and you’re both expecting an erotic kinky night. If that’s the case, it might be good to have quite some interaction with the other person before you have the date. So that you get a sense of who this person is, and what they are expecting. You could do this through chatting or messaging, or you can decide to have a cup of coffee beforehand, just to see if there is some chemistry. You can drop subjects like hygiene, boundaries and safe sex for instance. It is nice to do these things beforehand because you might feel you might ruin the moment if you want to bring these things up while stuff is happening. And you just get a better sense of who you are dealing with.
When meeting at a private place, especially when it’s at your own home, but also when it’s quite far away, make sure you have an exit plan. If things do not go the way you like, and you really want to end it, finding a smooth way out can be difficult. If a person is at your house and is really enjoying himself or herself, it can be hard to tell this person to leave. Also, if you are far away at somebody else’s place, it can be good to make sure that you can leave at any time. That you are not obliged to stay the night for instance.
Making Yourself Anonymous
Finally, if you want to play Truth or Dare with a date that you haven’t met before, and you’re both planning it to be quite steamy, you can also decide to wear an eye mask. This might feel a bit strange, and a bit impersonal, but it is a great way to let yourself go, and to try and find out what kind of things might be hidden inside of you. Because you’re free to do everything, without anybody knowing that it is you.
Truth or Dare with a Group
Playing with a group can be quite challenging. You have to be very confident, know what you want and don’t want, and you should be aware that all the other people also have their own boundaries and fantasies. It can be really easy to do something that doesn’t feel good for you, or that you might regret in the long run. Or that you, or you as a group, push somebody too hard to do something which he or she doesn’t really want to do.
Having said that, it can be really liberating to just do crazy stuff with a group. It can really give you the feeling that you are alive, that you can do what you want, and that you can be proud of your body and your sexuality. In this setting, it can be a good idea to wear a mask. You could feel more free to do what you want, but it is also practical, in the sense that you will not get recognized.
Playing Truth or Dare with a group of friends can be great if it is not getting too sexual. If it is getting steamy, and there is alcohol involved, you might be extra careful. Because if you are happy with the way your friendships currently are, this game might change these friendships.
Truth or Dare Online with Strangers
If you don’t have somebody to play with in real life, like a partner or a date, you can also choose to play our Truth or Dare online game with strangers. If you’re on a dating website, this can be a great way to get to know each other before going on a date. The truth questions are a great conversation starter, and the dares spice things up. This can be great as foreplay, plus you get a sense of what the other person is like. Some people want to be sure that the person they are meeting on a date is who they say they are. By playing Truth or Dare online, you can check if this person is really interested in having an (erotic) date. It is a good way to build trust. If you are a woman and would like to read more about the rules of online dating, you can check this article on how to survive as a woman on an adult dating website.
You might like just to play it online, and not necessarily as a run-up to a date. The nice part about this is that you can do it at any moment, so you can do it exactly when you’re in the mood for it. If you’re an exhibitionist, a submissive person or maybe a bit dominant, this is a game where you can express those fantasies. You can do it anonymously by not showing your face. At the same time it can be very personal and intimate if you follow somebody’s orders, or if you are the one that is giving the orders.