The world of online dating has an extensive rulebook. For some people it’s so easy to find what they are looking for, and they know exactly what to say and what to do, but for a lot of us is not that easy. And for many reasons it’s even more difficult if you’re looking for something that has to do with intimacy, sexuality and sexual fantasies. As a woman there can be some pitfalls and difficulties, in this article we will have a look at the do’s and don’ts.
The Number of Men and Women
The first thing you notice when you sign up at an adult dating site as a female is the huge list of messages that you receive. At most dating sites the number of registered men is greater than the number of registered women, so if a woman signs up is most likely that the men want to welcome her. That in combination with the general culture that men approach women instead of the other way around makes that you can get a whole list of messages in your inbox. The luxury of being a woman is that you can scroll through them and see if there is a message that appeals to you.
How to Find a Match
The first thing you can do is check the messages that you receive, and see if there is someone that approaches you the way that you like, and matches the thing that you are looking for. It sometimes takes a few messages to find out what type the other person is, and before sending a message back it can be a good idea to check their profile. This way you already have an idea of what you are dealing with.
Sometimes there is a specific thing that you want to do, maybe you just want to chat, or maybe you just want to watch or be watched. Or maybe you want to be told what to do, or you want to tell others what to do. If you use a search feature that highlights these specific things, it is much easier to find a match. And most important, say what you are looking for, both in your profile and in your messages. For instance if there are men who come on too strong too fast, you can let them know that you are looking for something else. There are women who are looking for somebody who comes on strong and fast, and the men do not know what type you are. And of course, the men can ask.
How to Find Someone That Is Trustworthy
Now that you have found your match in interests, it might be important to check if this person is trustworthy, especially if you are thinking about meeting in real life. But also when you are just interacting online it is still nice to have some trust. You can learn about somebody by having a lot of conversations or exchanging pictures, and to be sure that the other person is who they say they are you could verify them by playing the Truth or Dare game.
Our game has the option to personalize the assignment. For instance you can say “show an orange in the picture” or “write my name on a piece of paper”, this way you know for sure that the picture has been made for you and that the person in the picture is the one that you are talking to. The game also has a review process, to make sure that the dares have been properly fulfilled before the pictures are sent to one another.
Because it can be a sensitive thing, sex and sexuality, it is useful to have these tools to build trust. Because sometimes people, when they are online, can be a bit abrupt. For instance not answering your messages anymore, or being unkind. Our aim is to promote building trust and being kind to one another, especially when it comes to sexuality and your body.
How to Approach Men
Not all men are the same, and as a woman it is sometimes useful to have a feel of what type of man you are dealing with. Some are shy, some are bold, some are extreme and some are beginners. However, most men tend to know what they want when they sign up at an adult dating site. So it can be wise to say what you’re looking for, or how you would like to be approached, in your profile. You run the risk that the men are just telling you what you want to hear, because they read your profile. But it beats getting all types of messages from men that you really don’t care for.
Because a lot of women play hard to get, or are mysterious, most men really appreciate it when a woman has a kind and honest answer to a question that he asked. Just a friendly message goes a long way, even if it’s a short one.
If you’re looking for a fast and exciting interaction, it is less important to really find out with the other person is. It can be great to go into submission for instance, and simply follow all instructions that are given to you by any member. That can be extremely liberating. If you’re looking for somebody that you feel comfortable with and that you can trust, it’s probably better to send a bit more messages and take it slow in the beginning. In that way you also know if the guy is really interested in you or if he just wants an easy contact, without having to put in the effort.
If you are just having online fun from the comfort of your home it can be tempting to just relax and express yourself freely. We encourage expression, and do what you feel like doing, we also feel however that you should be aware of some risks. Generally, it is better not to show your face if you’re sending erotic pictures to somebody you do not know. If you feel comfortable with the other person, or you really do not mind showing your face, then you can decide to not hide it. We would like you to be aware though that if you send a picture to somebody showing your face, the other person has the possibility to use these pictures in other forms online. So if you really want to stay anonymous it is better to cover your face.
Since the Internet has been drowning in pictures, also erotic pictures, it is less special or valuable to have a naked picture of somebody. So some make the argument that it doesn’t matter if you show your face because there are so many pictures anyway. We would argue to still be careful and better be safe than sorry.
And if you want to go on an actual date, we recommend playing our Truth or Dare game with somebody you do not know before you meet. This way you can get to know the other person, build trust, but also verify that the other person is who they say they are. And of course, this is also nice to do if you’re just interacting online and not meeting up in real life.